I used to be known by the name “Remi,” a female persona I used to mask the dysfunction and pain of my past. During this season of my life I pursued sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. Finding it difficult to understand my pain, I turned to stripping and found myself involved in exotic sexual activities to find worth and value within myself. I was consumed with the culture and lifestyle of homosexuality; I became convinced it was my only identity.
However, I began to face severe depression and felt disjointed about life; I had faced so many disappointments, as well as broken and abusive relationships. Recognizing the destructive cycles I continually found myself in, I started to ask questions. Could this be all there is to life? Will I ever experience a truly fulfilling life? I needed answers or else I was headed toward ending my life.
Feeling desperate, I searched for other stories like mine on YouTube. Finding videos of people who sought help to find freedom for themselves led me to pursue counseling, support groups and online teachings. Some key social groups supported my efforts to leave that life that had led to further pain and destruction. Through these resources I learned that I had built my life on so many fabrications, and I had to deconstruct the false realities to discover my true identity.
My life today is absolutely nothing like before. I am a whole new person inside and out. I know I have incredible purpose, joy, love, acceptance and peace in my life. Nothing in my past compares to the truth and love I have received from Christ and from the people in my life. I no longer look for fulfillment in dangerous places; I am fulfilled and secure in my sexual identity as a man.