AMY CHRISTINE
“[Trauma Therapy] helped me realize that the root cause for calling myself a lesbian was deep-seated pain and not an actual desire to date women.”
When I was a child, I was a victim of sexual abuse. I also witnessed the rape of a young girl by a man and was assaulted by a boyfriend in high school. As a result, I developed real fear and hatred toward men. I became angry, aggressive, and would even avoid being alone with a man if I could help it.
I noticed that I was same-sex attracted from a very young age. By the time I was 21, I decided to embrace a lesbian identity; although, I kept it hidden from my Christian friends and parents. I was severely depressed and tried to find significance, worth, and healing in the arms of women. Unfortunately, every relationship that I got into just left me more lonely, confused, and heartbroken.
I realized that I needed to make a change and that dating women wasn't the answer to the trauma I had experienced. When I became suicidal, I finally reached out for help—first through trauma therapy and then through faith-based, emotional healing organizations. I also found help through books on childhood sexual abuse. All this helped me realize that the root cause for calling myself a lesbian was deep-seated pain and not an actual desire to date women. I’m not bitter or suicidal anymore.
Today I do not identify as a lesbian, nor do I have sexual desire for women. I have incredible men in my life that have helped me heal past wounds, and I can say I trust and love them. I discovered and embraced the woman that God made me to be, and I am very happy with who I am! I love that God met me in every single part of my journey and that He never once pushed me or forced me to do anything until I was ready.
I have a heart to help others who question their sexuality to better understand the roots of their trauma and find their true identities. It is such an honor to sit with women who are where I once was and tell them, "there is hope!" I am healthier than I have ever been and can truly say I love my life and the freedom I now have.