I was always what would be called a tomboy. Going to an all-girls school, I gravitated toward the sporty crowd and, as such, never seemed much different from the others. It was when I went to college and started going to gay clubs that I began to dress in a more androgynous way, with short hair and jeans and a hoodie as my go-to outfit. Wearing feminine clothing such as dresses was a big no for me. I had turned my back on the church as a teenager because of my same-sex attraction (SSA) and spent 30 years living as a lesbian. I had a 16-year relationship with another woman during that time.

Before I became a Christian, and before God started reaching out to me, life was good. I had friends, was actively involved in sports, and my partner and I had a very settled relationship . I had a better relationship with my family than ever before and at 48 years of age was simply getting on with life. But the reality was that I was very broken inside.

Every afternoon after work I would take the dog for a walk and listen to the radio, usually a pop station. But today I “just happened” to tune into a different station. Suddenly a worship song was playing. Immediately after the song’s conclusion, a Joyce Meyer teaching began. I noticed she was speaking about God in ways that were unfamiliar to me. I listened to Joyce’s teachings over the next few months and started learning about a God who loved me, despite my sin, and a God who wanted a relationship with me. A few months later, I walked into a church and started my journey of discovery. No one bothered me. I was given space to listen, learn, and grow. I began to see people who reflected Jesus, and that’s what I wanted!  

After a conversation with my partner about what it meant to be a Christian and stopping all sexual activity, I prayed and asked God’s forgiveness and for Him to come into my life.  There was a long journey ahead, and it took time to eventually leave my partner and fully extricate myself from my old identity. But God was gracious and walked the whole journey to freedom with me! I went through a season of thinking I was always going to identify as a celibate gay Christian. But over time that identity has dropped off me, and I no longer consider myself that way. I was encouraged by reading the Bible and other faith-based literature. There was also Christian counseling, not to address the SSA, but to address the roots of unforgiveness, abuse, and lack of self-worth which I had carried. My involvement in an amazing women’s ministry and a small prayer group have also strengthened me.

God has been so good to me, and I am joyful and thankful for all that He has done; starting with the fact that seven years after I committed my life to Jesus, my ex-partner also made a commitment to Him. We remain friends, now living 300 miles apart. My attitude toward clothing has changed; my wardrobe now sports an array of clothing. Sure, there are still jeans and hoodies, but also dresses, handbags and heels!  

Today, I have such a good relationship with my family, whom I had pushed away for so many years. God has replaced my old friend group with a new group of friends who not only love me but also pray for me and uplift me daily. I learn and grow in my faith daily, and my relationship with God is maturing as I continue to surrender to Him.

Transformed Ministries: transformedbygodslove.com