HEATHER O'BRIEN
“Jesus didn’t ask me to change
overnight. He asked me to follow Him. And as I walk with Him, He changes what needs to be changed. I’m not perfect, but I’m free.”
Before Jesus, my life was chaos. I grew up a pastor’s kid but rebelled the moment I graduated
high school and left home for Air Force basic training. I never quite fit the mold of what a girl
was “supposed” to be. I hated dresses, played soldier instead of housewife, and preferred jeans
and t-shirts from the men’s section. As I grew older, the pressure to conform pushed me further
away. In the military, I joined security forces—the closest thing to combat a woman could
get—but even there, I stood out. I wasn’t interested in men, and over time, it felt easier to
embrace my sexual identity than to keep fighting.
I met my first girlfriend in the Air Force. Because the policy was “don’t ask, don’t tell,” we kept
our relationship secret, which added to the thrill. After being discharged, we moved to Phoenix,
but unresolved trauma on both sides turned our relationship abusive. Everything came to a
head when I attempted suicide. After leaving the hospital, I moved in with a friend, and we
began dating, both broken and hoping to fix each other. Medications dulled my emotional pain,
but didn’t bring peace. For years, I barely survived.
Then, God began to gently re-enter my life. My suicide attempt opened a door to reconnect
with my family, who slowly introduced me to people from their church. These people had a
peace I couldn’t understand. I’d always believed God was angry with me—I had lived so long in
rebellion. But as I got to know these people, I began to wonder: What if He isn’t mad at me?
What if He still loves me?
In July 2018, I stepped into my parents’ church in Kansas City, expecting judgment. Instead, I
felt an overwhelming presence. Every demonic voice in my head screamed at me to run, but
God’s compassion pressed in stronger. I flew back to Phoenix, but something had shifted—I
knew that city was no longer my home. A month later, I returned to Kansas City and gave my
life to Jesus. I left everything behind: my job, my girlfriend, the life I’d built.
Since then, my life has been transformed. I now live with my family, help veterans train service
dogs, and write. Healing hasn’t been instant or easy—I had a mental breakdown in 2019, and
recovery was long. But I’ve come to know Jesus deeply through every high and low. I’m still
learning how to interact with women in non-flirtatious ways, still letting go of shame and
secrecy, still healing. But I don’t define myself by my past anymore. Not “ex-lesbian” or “former
this or that.” I’m simply a child of God. That’s my identity. Jesus didn’t ask me to change
overnight. He asked me to follow Him. And as I walk with Him, He changes what needs to be
changed. I’m not perfect, but I’m free. I’ll never go back—and I’ll never change my mind.