WILNA VAN BEEK
“After surrendering my life to Christ, I kept pursuing healing and restoration. This search included going to counseling, seeking out prayer/healing ministries, and starting to share my testimony with others.”
I always wished I had been born a boy. At the age of 21, I caved in to my same-sex attractions and entered my first homosexual relationship. I had no support and no one to talk to. Struggling under the weight of leading a double life, my fear, shame, and guilt kept me silent. But deep down I hoped that someday, somehow, my story would be brought into the light.
When I was eight, my mom gave me a Bible, and as I started reading, truth entered my heart. Knowing that to live a homosexual lifestyle is not God’s will, I tried very hard to change myself. However, these efforts seemed in vain.
From the moment I started practicing a homosexual lifestyle, I felt separated from the presence of God. This separation created a dryness in my soul, a devastating place to be. Being unable to feel close to Him became unbearable. I needed Him more than anything else in my life.
Then, in 2003, this very separation brought me to my knees. I invited Jesus into that place in my heart, the place I'd closed off for so long. I repented of living a homosexual lifestyle and asked the Lord to please help me with this deep struggle. I brought it under the Lordship of Christ, walked away from living a homosexual lifestyle, and chose celibacy.
After surrendering my life to Christ, I kept pursuing healing and restoration. This search included going to counseling, seeking out prayer/healing ministries, and starting to share my testimony with others.
I recently celebrated 17 years of celibacy; my SSA no longer exists. No man, no psychiatrists, self-help books, or efforts of my own to "fix" myself could do for me what the Holy Spirit has done! It is through daily abiding in Jesus that I have become victorious, and stay victorious.
Learn more about her ministry God Gazers-Bridge Builders here www.godgazers.com
Find Wilna’s book “When Gay Comes Home – Learning to Build Bridges” on Amazon by clicking here