I experienced same-sex attraction for most of my life. I was born into a pastor’s family and had a traditional upbringing that I cherished. However, because of some early ongoing harassment from male peers and a gymnastics coach, some intrusive medical exams, and less than optimal family dynamics, I began to experience gender confusion and same-sex attraction as a small child. In high school, I became very involved in the worlds of theater and competitive cheerleading. These atmospheres and peer groups were enjoyable, but they exposed me to lifestyles that led me to question my identity and purpose.
By college, the constant inner turmoil of same-sex attraction and my conservative Christian worldview came to a crossroad, and I decided to plan my exit strategy and enter the gay lifestyle. Simultaneously, I met a Christian woman whose life had been changed through Jesus to a level I hadn’t yet seen. She was the first Christian to suggest I could seek recovery because of her own experience with God’s power and love.
Later I found support and discipleship in an accountability partner and a local support group. Because of the changes in my relationship with God and my supportive Christian community, I felt secure enough to challenge perspectives and worldviews that had gone unquestioned in my heart.
Today, the Christian woman who was my friend has since become my wife. We have been married for 12 years and have 3 children. I am sexually attracted to her and more content in my marriage than I could have ever dreamed. I am no longer bound to sexualize men; I have peace and no longer feel conflicted. My relationships with family and friends are full and enjoyable, and I have gained a lifestyle that surpassed all my expectations.