LEON JONCK
“Today, I feel a long lasting, inner peace that I know only comes from God.”
As a young boy, I felt like something was missing. Though I didn’t identify as LGBTQ, I struggled with same-sex attraction and questioned whether I would ever be able to share my struggles with someone else or overcome my attraction to men. I often battled suicidal thoughts and depression. Alcohol and porn became my way of coping with the pain of isolation and loneliness. As a teenager, I acted out on my feelings toward men and, as a result, experienced fear of rejection from family and friends. I started living a double life, pretending I was okay on the outside but crumbling on the inside. In my late twenties, I completed an ALPHA course, which is a place for people who want to explore Christianity and ask questions. A lady in the course asked the pastor what he would do if someone who had same-sex attraction came to the church. The pastor told her that he would love and support them, just like he would anyone else. For the first time I realized it was possible that I could be loved and not rejected by God because of my struggles. Born again and baptized a year later, I began to share my story with others. Over the next five years, I embarked on a journey of surrendering my sexuality to God. Though my confidence in my new identity sometimes wavered, God always came through for me with remarkable reminders that he was guiding me. In 2018, for instance, I had a supernatural experience one night during worship; when I awoke the next day, I heard the phrase, “YOU ARE FREE!” resounding in my head. I instantly knew what God was saying to me: I would no longer be a slave to my desires. Overjoyed, I began learning how to renew my mind with truth and live as Christ’s new creation. Then again in 2019, I was lying on the floor one day when I had a vision of Jesus coming and kneeling next to me. I watched as He pulled my spine out of my brain, and it looked like a bunch of loose wires. He said, “We are going to re-wire your mind. It’s not going to be easy, but I am going to do it with you.” Because I had thought about myself a certain way for so long, I realized during this encounter that I actually needed to learn to think differently. Today, I feel a long lasting, inner peace that I know only comes from God. I know God cares about me and my struggles, and I can see in my own life that change is possible. I look back with thankfulness to God for everything He has done in my life and in my heart to walk me into the freedom I experience today.