SHERRY GURNEY
“I enjoy spending time with my children and grandchildren! …They would not have been born had it not been for the mighty work of God! ”
Raised in a chaotic, alcoholic home, I was physically abused and emotionally starved as a child. In addition to acute anxiety and maternal attachment issues, I also developed a mistrust and hatred of men. Growing up, I was embarrassed by my looks because I matured more slowly than my friends, compounding my dislike of my tall, thin body. Then, at age 16, I fell headlong in love with a friend in a Girl Scout troop. I couldn’t get enough of the stories of her life on a houseboat with her dad. She was strong, exciting, and caring. How could this be? I had never felt this strong emotion about anyone before! When I returned home, I searched for answers in the local library and learned about homosexuality. Because my great, great grandmother had introduced me to Jesus as a child, I considered myself a Christian. So when I searched the Bible and found that God expressed strong disapproval of homosexuality, I assumed that God also hated me. What would this mean for my life? I was very worried.
When I graduated from high school, I enrolled in an out-of-state nursing program. Relieved to be away from my hometown, I could finally be me. But who was I? As my schooling and employment opened opportunities to meet others with the same temptations, I soon walked into secret lesbian relationships. Ironically, I still held on to my Christian beliefs and served as an officer in the Nurses Christian Fellowship. But I was tortured by the fact that my double life was displeasing to God. I often prayed and pleaded with God to change me.
Then, one evening in 1970, when I was 24-years-old, I had a dramatic experience that set me free inside. Our church had been fasting for a week, holding meetings each evening in various homes. On this particular evening, I had come home to an empty house. As I continued praying, I heard the Lord say, “You don’t trust me.” I argued that I trusted Him, but not people. He asked, “Do you trust me concerning the lesbianism?” I began to cry angrily, yelling at God. “How am I to know how to trust anyone?” I exclaimed. “Babies learn to trust when they are cared for, fed, clothed, and protected. I never experienced that care!” As I wept at my bedside, I told Him I wanted to be free but that He was going to have to teach me how to trust. That night He lifted a huge weight off of me. I knew something had shifted. Because the fear and shame were instantly gone, I expected the same-sex attraction to be gone as well. When I realized it wasn’t, I dove into Bible studies and Christian books.
Upon realizing that my relationships were often codependent, I completed Celebrate Recovery’s 12-Step program, eventually leading several groups myself. I also participated in one-on-one Christian cognitive therapy, which addressed more wounds from childhood. I eventually enrolled in Bible school, and while serving as the campus nurse, I realized one day that my attractions were gone. Students were coming and sharing their pain with unwanted temptations, and I was sharing Biblical truths with them, totally untriggered! During that season in school, I also met my husband with whom I went into full-time ministry, even serving overseas.
Free for 50+ years, I’m now a widow and retired, and I enjoy spending time with my children and grandchildren! I rejoice when I think that they would not have been born had it not been for the mighty work of God!
To get connected to Sherry’s Parent Support Group in Tulsa, OK: Moms And Pops Support group bctulsa.churchcenter.com/groups