MIHLE-CHESTER
“I find rest in God and in just being myself. I no longer worry if people assume I’m gay because I’m not ‘masculine’. I’m content with who I am. God knows my heart.”
By the seventh grade I had accepted that I was gay. I had been attracted to the same sex since I was six years old. I tried to pray my feelings away in high school. One failed suicide attempt and mental illness diagnosis later, I found myself living as a gay man in college. Again, I was violated sexually and found myself depressed, looking for a way out of the homosexual lifestyle.
I thought God had abandoned me, yet right in the middle of my depression He spoke to me through a trance. He told me that I was not a homosexual and that I could actually have my own biological family one day. The power of that experience compelled me to follow Jesus Christ. I knew immediately that my life had not been pleasing to Him, so by His grace I began changing my sinful habits and replacing them with new ones.
On my journey, I used to try so hard to become masculine until I realized that I need to come to God as I am. I’m comfortable being who I am. I know that God accepts me as I am—the way I talk and walk. I am Christian, and I am reborn. I find rest in God and in just being myself. I no longer worry if people assume I’m gay because I’m not 'masculine'. I’m content with who I am. God knows my heart.