I grew up in a poor and dysfunctional home. As a sensitive and artistic kid, I didn't fit in with others and was ostracized. I grew to resent myself. Resent others. Resent my life. And I rebelled against it all.
In high school I began to live a homosexual lifestyle. As a minor, I got sexually involved with a much older man, and my life started to spiral downwards. At one point, I was treated at a mental health facility for depression.
When I was approaching legal adulthood, I desired a new lifestyle and threw myself into a new life with God. For a while I was growing in healthiness, but unfortunately, my story didn't end there.
After my college years, I became disillusioned with my faith. I started living a homosexual lifestyle again and frequented gay clubs. I decided to try Drag and instantly became hooked.
I became a Drag Queen and performer. I was drunk most nights of the week, and because I had very little respect for myself, I was very promiscuous. I was hooking up whenever I could. I also began using cocaine at parties that often included threesomes and orgies. I lost my car and contact with many people I had been friends with.
Some people told me I needed to get out of where I was, so I went to stay with people who had been in my life when I was living in accordance with my faith. But I still was full of confusion and resentment, so I got together what money I could, even selling my body, and went back to a homosexual lifestyle in Florida.
After a little while, I decided to do what I thought was settling down. I left my party lifestyle and got into a serious relationship. I quickly became obsessed with this guy, and I was willing to leave all of my dreams for him. After a while, I knew something felt wrong and that I was just as bad for him as he was for me. So finally, for the last time, I left him and moved to a new state to live my life completely for God.
It was through much pain, panic, and turmoil that I started getting out of the pit I had made of my life. I had to cut off a lot of people who were holding me back. I received a lot of encouragement from my church and a documentary that tells stories of other individuals who worked through unwanted same-sex attraction.
Ever since then, my process has been discovering the immense love of God and my true identity. I had lost everything and was going nowhere, with no value for myself. But now, I value myself and I have direction and identity.