MARIO L. FURLOW
“I asked God to teach me how to be a man and He taught me what godly manhood looks like.”
"This is my story: nothing is impossible with God."
I went to church every week when I was a child; however, I did not have a true relationship with God. I believe there was a void in my heart because of my need for Him, and my biological father's absence only expanded that void.
By five years old I recognized that I had same-sex attraction, and it came into fruition three years later when I was molested by a male family member. I thought that what he did was normal, and unfortunately, I became a magnet in our community to other predators. It wasn't long before I thought that having sex with men was love. This later influenced me to enter a homosexual lifestyle for seven years. Initially, I felt as though it was the perfect life for me; however, I never experienced the kind of love I desperately needed.
When nightclubs, parties, drugs, and alcohol could no longer comfort the pain inside, I turned to God. I knew that only He could heal me after years of molestation, rejection and abuse. So I decided to get serious about Him. Our time together was solely a lifeline at first, but soon I fell madly in love with Him and our every hour together became a delight. I grew close to Him. He filled the void. He became the high I always wanted.
I was attending a church regularly by February of 2002. The pastor at that time preached a message titled, "The Antidote." He vividly described the damage that sin had done to our planet. I was already serious about the Lord, but I call that sermon my "deliverance" message because it compelled me to follow Jesus wholeheartedly. Here I am today, following Jesus twenty years later, having never looked back.
The journey to wholeness wasn't easy. I had many obstacles in my way. I did not know of anyone else with a story like mine. I fought this battle alone for most of those first years of following the Lord. Yet, in spite of the odds, strong prayer and spending quality time becoming intimately acquainted with God changed me from the inside out. Just like the Bible says in Romans 12: 2, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Change is on-going, but I spent about two years isolated from everything except work and church during the major mind renewal that God was doing in my life. During that time, I experienced what I call rehab: cold sweats, chills and deep longing for the lifestyle because that's all I knew. After that initial two years, it took about ten more years for God to deal with some of the root causes of my insecurity and emotional instability.
I asked God to teach me how to be a man and He taught me what godly manhood looks like. I learned that He gave me a jovial and outgoing personality. I learned that my mannerisms didn't disqualify me, and that I can have close, healthy connections with other men. I learned that I was "man enough" to be a good husband. His truth fought against the lies that were stacked against me. And unknown to me, I was fighting too, for a special someone, a young lady whom I actually adored since high school. That woman, Kaneisa, made me the happiest man in the world by saying 'yes' years later.
Today, Kaneisa and I have been married for seventeen years. We have four beautiful, adopted, children. I am a secure man who is full of joy and passionate about helping others along the same journey that I was on. I do this through my ministry, The Overcomers Network, which focuses on accountability, community and education for those who have experienced sexual brokenness.
This is my story: nothing is impossible with God.
Check out Overcomers Network @ http://www.overcomersnetworkglobal.org