MICHAEL N. MARTINEZ
“God quickly began showing me that I was created to be holy. From that moment forward I could no longer live as a gay man.”
"...I was created to be Holy."
My grandparents had a rich history of serving the Lord. They used to be missionaries and pastored overseas in Germany. My mother and aunt were also followers of Christ. These pillars in my family taught me about Jesus at a young age. But exposure to pornography robbed me of my innocence, and the same sex attraction that came through it created a serious internal conflict. However, I didn't talk about my feelings, I ate them - and they ate me. Eating was my source of comfort and the only thing that I felt like I could control in my life. I became the "fat kid" to others. That was a label I couldn't live down. People judged me for how I looked on the outside, but they had no idea of the brewing storm within.
At thirteen years old, I walked away from the arms of Jesus and straight into the clutches of the Los Angeles rave scene. That was the beginning of my end. Illicit drug use, alcohol, and sex addiction came next. All of those things eventually led me into twenty-five long years of an unrestrained and promiscuous, homosexual lifestyle.
Severe alcoholism and reckless living eroded both my physical and mental health. I became quite ill with the most alarming symptoms. The road couldn't have been any darker, and the worst part was that I was addicted to the very thing that was killing me: alcohol. In my sickness I cried out to God for help, and by His mercy and power He delivered me overnight. I did not have one craving or symptom of withdrawal. That experience caused me to surrender my life to Jesus Christ, the only one who is able to save.
God quickly began showing me that I was created to be holy. From that moment forward I could no longer live as a gay man. My life had changed after twenty-five years. From there, I joined a church group, began healing in fellowship, and learned about the power of prayer. Furthermore, I learned that there were other people, like me, who chose not to embrace a homosexual identity. These things became a rich source of affirmation and encouragement to me as I followed Christ through the years.
The transformation taking place within me today is gradual. I still have same sex desires but I don't act on them. I have stumbled before, and I got right back up. I have no desire to go back to my old life, but to continue living wholeheartedly for the Lord.
In regards to my masculinity, I've learned an important lesson: Being unique, creative, and having a tender heart doesn't make me any less of a man. I am a man because God made me a man. I am God's man, and I have been cleansed and made right with Him by calling on the name of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Find out more about Michael at Broken 2 Chosen here www.Broken2chosen.com